


beats per minute

by crappyfriday



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Activism, Alternate Universe, HIV/AIDS, M/M, New York City, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-06 13:09:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14057643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crappyfriday/pseuds/crappyfriday
Summary: The year is 1987 and Billy is a student AIDS activist in New York City, where he meets Steve Harrington after an Action at the university, and introduces Steve to a world of art, activism, and queer culture in the city.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> For all new readers & revisiting readers: I'm currently restructuring/rewriting this fic!!!! I want to take my time w it. So im currently rewriting ch1&2\. updates will be slow, but i will also be writing small fics on the side xx

Billy feels anxious and downtrodden as he taps off the ashes from his cigarette and brings it up to his mouth for a long pull. He’s outside the hall but he can still hear everyone arguing. Their voices are loud and he thinks about leaving, but he knows he shouldn’t. Knows that deep down, he doesn’t want to leave, he just wants it to end. No one really knows what’s going on. Just that their friends are sick and dying and no one cares. Billy feels nauseated, wants to hurl onto the sidewalk. Instead, he drops his cigarette despite not finishing it, stomps it out, and heads back inside.

Inside people are arguing, but Billy pays no mind to what they’re saying. It feels like he has tinnitus--all the voices and words register in his mind but its white noise almost. He can’t focus, feels his mind stray from meeting topics. Meetings usually end up loud and scattered. With everyone so passionate and angry, the agenda almost always gets tossed out the window. There is no official leader, but Martin is one of the facilitators and he tries to keep everyone composed and most of the time is successful, but with Robert in the hospital, and getting worse everyday, people are easily riled up. Billy finds his chair still empty in their messy circle arrangement and doesn’t focus on what’s going on until he hears the tail end of Martin’s proposal on the demonstration he’s planning.

“…so we need a team to go to the University and try and just get the information out. Tracy, Kent, and myself have made informational flyers we would like you all to hand out. We’ve put stuff about condoms, dental dams, needle use, and just some basic knowledge on AIDS and government inaction. The University won’t let us come officially so we have to do this quickly and get this into the hands of as many students as possible. Be loud, be informative, and evade security. We want to do this next week on Friday. If you are able to come please let me or Tracy know by the next meeting. Please get your friends to come. We’ve printed out a five hundred copies. We’re also going to be handing out condoms that have been donated to us by the clinic that Billy volunteers at,” Martin concludes, adjusting his glasses. “I will now pass the floor to Christopher, who is going to recount last week’s Action for those who missed it.”

Billy has known Martin for almost two years, met him during a Philosophy course in his first year. Martin is tall; taller than Billy by a few inches and pretty skinny too but he’s got this crazy head of long blonde hair that Billy always thought was cool. Billy didn’t think much of him at first until he saw Martin at one of the first meetings a year ago. When the two of them were arrested at a demonstration, along with several others, at Wall Street in March, they began talking and confiding in each other. Martin is probably one of Billy’s closest friends.

Billy stands up and walks over to the table in corner exploding with small cubes of cheese, crackers, and other finger foods. He stuffs a few cheddar cubes into his mouth to try and quell the pit in his stomach but it proves to be futile. He watches as the rest of the meeting runs it course from the food table.

At the end of the meeting, Martin finds him and pats Billy on the back. “We got pretty good feedback for the Uni Action, a bunch of people are confirming to be there. I think it should be pretty successful.”

Billy nods. “That’s great. Sharon says she can probably get us like a couple hundred condoms so if you want to pick me up from the clinic on Saturday that’d be totally ace cause I don’t wanna carry that shit on the subway.”

“I can do that,” Martin says and he checks his watch. “We should probably leave soon, I wanna get up early enough to visit Robert before work tomorrow. Do you wanna come?”

Billy shakes his head. “Can’t. I have to get to campus to hand in my paper before ten and I still need to tidy up the conclusion and my citations. I’m gonna try and visit during my break.”

Martin nods. “Okay. I’m going to make my rounds. Meet at the car in fifteen?”

They part as both of them say goodbye to everyone. Billy catches up briefly with a few of his friends until he sees Martin leave the hall. The two of them have lived together for the past five months in shoebox apartment in Brooklyn. Billy had lived on campus for two years before realizing they were quickly bleeding his student loans dry. Martin had been looking for a roommate and it was the perfect situation. Driving in the city is absolute madness but meetings can run late and waiting for a train at this time is a nightmare. Martin already has the car started and is smoking a cigarette by the time Billy is buckled. He’s upset, Billy can sense.

“Lyle’s just been diagnosed. Daniel told me just now. That’s why he wasn’t here tonight.” Martin inhales on his cigarette slowly, exhales even slower. “I can’t fucking believe it. I’m so upset.”

Lyle is one of their close friends and Daniel is his partner. He’s been at the meetings since the beginning and had never missed a meeting up until last week. Billy didn’t think much of it. Another one of their friends has been diagnosed and Billy feels hopeless. He doesn’t even know what to say, doesn’t know how he can ease the tension and sadness in his own shoulders, much less Martin’s, so he lights his own cigarette and pushes in the Queen cassette. Martin doesn’t say anything else either, he just starts driving and they listen to Queen singing about breaking free as they head home.

~

The day of an Action always puts nerves into Billy. He worries that things won’t go as planned, or he’ll get arrested again, or people will be ambivalent about their cause. As he’s sitting in his Philosophy seminar, he can’t stop his leg from being restless as his professor rattles on about Sartre and nothingness. Billy is meant to meet everyone after class in the quad so they can begin their Action. He tries to focus on what Professor Allen is lecturing, and is able to jot down a few notes, before he completely zones out. When class concludes, Billy stuffs his notebook into his backpack and dashes out of the building. He finds Martin and the others who have come to help just off to the side of the library. Surrounding them are a boxes of flyers and the condoms from the clinic.

“Alright everyone, this is it. Please grab a stack of flyers and fill up a bag with condoms. Hand them out and cause a ruckus. We must be heard and we will not go silent!” Martin says, and as people grab their supplies, he adds, “we’ll start chanting on my countdown.” Billy grabs a stack of flyers and stuffs condoms into a bag. “1, 2, 3!”

“GAYS AND LESBIANS UNDER ATTACK. WHAT DO WE DO? ACT UP, FIGHT BACK! PEOPLE WITH AIDS UNDER ATTACK. WHAT DO WE DO? ACT UP, FIGHT BACK!”

Billy chants along with the rest of them. He stuffs flyers and condoms into people’s hands. With all the noise and commotion, more people surround them, but it’s what they want. Billy continues chanting, choosing to share information on AIDS treatments to the people around him.

“They are holding AIDS cures hostage and the clinical trials they’ve set up are cruel. We MUST get them to abolish the blind studies where less than one out of two people are treated the actual drug. The Food and Drug Administration has the ability to save lives but they are choosing not to. How many more of us must suffer? We demand an immediate release of the drugs at an affordable price! We must educate, not spread hate about AIDS,” Billy shouts. He sees a group of students standing off to the side and beelines over to them. “The FDA doesn’t care about AIDS, because they think it only affects the degenerates of society, but it's in the blood banks and children and mothers are dying of AIDS. Educate and protect yourself. Your government doesn’t care.” He hands them flyers and condoms.

They’re able to occupy the campus for twenty minutes before campus security stops them. Luckily, they were able to distribute all of the condoms and almost all of the flyers. No one is arrested but they given strict warning to never do it again. It was a successful afternoon and Billy is just glad they were able to do what they intended. He knows how important it is to educate people his age, especially considering the amount of misinformation that is spread daily.

 

Billy has to start on his readings for classes so instead of going out for afternoon pints, he heads to the cafe around the block that’s just started serving espressos. It’s strong but Billy appreciates the focus he gets from drinking them. He takes his espresso and sits down at a table in the corner and unpacks his bag. Billy unhooks his glasses from his shirt and slides them on his face. He takes his cassette player out but never actually ends up listening to it. He’s has finished his espresso and is halfway through the third chapter of _Ways of Seeing_ when someone sits across from him. Billy doesn’t look up immediately because he’s highlighting a passage he thinks is important. When he does, he sees a brown headed boy with thin wired glasses. Billy has never seen him before, but he’s not upset a cute boy has sat across from him.

“Hi?” he stutters out, wondering why this stranger is interrupting his coursework.

“Hi, I’m Steve,” Steve says, and holds his hand out. Billy shakes it.

“Billy.”

“Nice to meet you. I saw you on the NYU campus earlier. One of your friends gave me a paper and like five condoms.” Steve smiles. Billy notices that it’s a nice smile. “I think it’s really cool what you’re doing.”

Billy smiles back at Steve and sets his book down. “Thanks. Sucks that security shut us down, we weren’t finished handing out our flyers.”

“Does that happen often?” Steve asks and sips from his to-go cup. Billy’s eyes are drawn down to Steve’s mouth as he drinks, watches as Steve’s lips curl around the rim of the cup.

“Getting shut down? Always. Any type of security or law enforcement usually get pretty upset when we talk about shit the government wants to ignore and cause any sort of ruckus.” Billy crosses his legs and leans forward, resting his chin on his hand.

“And that doesn’t scare you?”

Billy shrugs. “I mean, campus security not really. They don’t have guns or tasers. Just those baton things. Police officers make me a little nervous ‘cause they’re kind of unpredictable, but its been okay so far.”

Steve tucks a strand of wayward hair behind his ear and nods along to what Billy says. “Shit, man. That’s crazy.” He takes another drink. “I’m from like… a mad tiny town in Indiana and no one _ever_ did shit like this. I mean, small town, so they can be pretty closed-minded about everything. But coming to New York… I never believed it could be like this. Have you always lived here?”

Billy shakes his head. “No, no. I used to live in California and then when I graduated high school I came here for uni.”

“California, wow, _groovy_ . Are the waves like totally _stellar_ there?” Steve licks his lips and grins. Billy can’t tell if this guy is trying to flirt with him or what’s going on.

“Oh, yeah, surfing is, like, totally, tubular man,” Billy jokes. Steve laughs and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “So. You said you’re from a small town? That must have been hard. I’m assuming you’re gay?”

“What gave it away?” Steve chuckles. “But uh, bisexual actually. Didn’t realize it until last year when this new guy moved to town. He was a huge asshole but I guess I was into it. Obviously, one-sided and kept very much a secret. I haven’t really told that many people, not even here.”

“Well, it can be a hard thing to talk about, especially considering the current political climate. Asshole are everywhere,” Billy replies.

“I think it's brave… what you do. It’s admirable.”

Billy blushes and runs a hand through the curls on his head. “Thanks, that’s really nice to hear. It’s hard, having everyone ignore that a huge population is just… dying. So many people I know are just not the people they used to be. No one wants to talk about AIDS. They call it the gay disease but it’s not just the gay community being affected and the longer that myth is perpetuated, more people are going to get sick. Politicians don’t want to acknowledge us, pharmaceutical companies want to wait until they can profit off of us, so we need to be so big and so loud they can’t do anything _but_ acknowledge what we have to say.” Billy sips his coffee and pauses. “If you ever want to come to a meeting, they’re open to everyone. It’s held at the community center on west and 13th every Monday.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Steve says thoughtfully.

He pushes his glasses up into his hair and Billy takes the pause in conversation to really look over him. Steve is wearing blue jeans cuffed at the ankles with chucks and has a really nice jacket over his shoulders. Fall in the city can get quite breezy, Billy found that out very quickly upon moving here. He’s cute, Billy thinks. He takes notice in Steve’s hair and eyes, beautiful and brown. He’s soft.

Billy notices Steve’s discarded to-go cup off to the side of the table. He stands up and says, “I’m going to--”

Steve blushes,  moves to get up, and stammers, “Oh, sorry, I’m definitely keeping you--”

“No, you’re all good. I was just going to say that I’m gonna get a refill. What are you drinking, I’ll get you one too,” Billy reassures softly, gesturing for Steve to sit back down.

Steve grins and sits. “Oh, thank you. Let me get you some change.” He digs around in his pockets until Billy holds out his hand for him to stop.

“On me.”

Steve smiles again. “Hot chocolate then, thanks.”

Billy comes back a few minutes later holding his espresso and a hot chocolate to find Steve flipping through the pages of his book. He sets the drinks down on the table before sitting, eliciting a little jump from Steve as he sheepishly sets Billy’s book down, like a kid who’s been caught stealing candy.

“Sorry, the cover looked interesting.” Steve accepts his drink from Billy and blows on the surface to cool it down. “Are you reading it for class or pleasure?”

“Don’t get a lot of time to do much pleasure reading during the semester, but I’m enjoying it so far, so maybe it’s a little bit of both,” Billy simpers. He folds his arms in front of him on the table, tries to act a little coy. He thinks it works when Steve blinks a few times and takes a moment to reply.

Steve puts his glasses on and picks up the book again. “‘The relation between what we see and what we know is never settled’. Hm, what’s he mean by that?”

“It’s basically saying that where we see something and when we see it will affect what we see. Like, how we see an image is affected by what we believe or know. So in a way, everything we _see_ is man-made, it’s shaped by ourselves, so no image of sight is ever natural… images are deceptive, especially in the context of art.”

“Huh… interesting.” Steve laughs. “Sorry, I think this is going a bit over my head.”

“He cites the painter Rene Magritte, he was a surrealist. So, he takes Magritte’s painting ‘The Key of Dreams’ because Magritte labels these images of things we know with other words. Like under the horse, he writes ‘the door’, and under the clock, he writes ‘the wind’. He’s kind of pointing out the incongruity between language and image and how its all pretty arbitrary,” Billy says.

“Wow. That’s kinda cool actually,” Steve says. “So what’s your major?”

“I’m undeclared but I’ve been taking a lot of philosophy and art history courses. They’ve been the most interesting to me for sure,” Billy answers. “What about you?”

Steve sighs, “Business.”

“Doesn’t sound like you like it much,” Billy comments.

“Yeah, I hate it, but my dad wants me to take it. I don’t really know what I want to do here. I kind of just came to leave the small town life and not to sound cliche, I wanted to like, find myself. As lame as that sounds.” Steve shrugs. “I don’t even know how I got in. My senior year was rough to say the least. Think I only got in because its my dads alma mater and he still donates.”

“Ah, a rich boy,” Billy teases.

Steve blushes. “Yeah.” Billy likes the rosy colour of Steve’s cheeks. It matches the tone of his lips. Billy checks his watch for the time. It’s a little after six. “Do you have to leave?” Steve asks.

“In a little bit. I work at seven, it’s in the East Village, so only like a twenty minute walk,” Billy replies. “Probably gonna need another espresso before I leave if I’m gonna make it until four.”

“In the morning?” Steve asks, surprised by the hour. Billy nods. “Yikes. Since you got me before, let me buy you one.”

“Not gonna turn down a free espresso, thanks.”

Billy watches as Steve gets up and leaves the table. He’s got a cute little butt, Billy observes. While Steve is at the counter, Billy takes the time to pack up his coursework into his backpack. He makes sure his work shirt doesn’t get pushed to the bottom.

Steve returns after a few minutes carrying two espressos. “Thought I’d try one too. I’ve never had one before. They didn’t have espressos in my town. Never heard about it till I moved here.”

“Forewarning then, it’s bitter. May be hard drinking it after having hot chocolate,” Billy replies playfully. He laughs when Steve takes a sip and his entire face reacts to the bitterness of the espresso. “I told you!”

Steve shakes his head as he laughs. “God, I didn’t think it would be so terrible! Why do you drink this? It’s like paint remover.”

Billy sips his drink. “It’s not that bad. Just a little different.” He glances at his watch again, notices that he should probably leave soon if he wants to be on time. Not that Brian will care too much if Billy is a few minutes late. Billy looks at Steve, wearing his collared striped shirt and smart jacket, and determines that the boy has never been to a New York City gay club. “You wanna get a proper drink with me? I bartend at the Pyramid Club over in the East Village, let me pour you a drink.” When Steve hesitates and bites his bottom lip, Billy adds, “If you have plans it’s all good. Maybe another night.”

“I’ve never heard of the Pyramid Club before,” Steve admits. “But I’d love to come.”

~

They’re playing Queen when Billy guides Steve through the back of the club. It’s loud and reverberating off the walls even though the doors don’t open for another hour. He watches as Steve’s eyes roam the walls, taking in the graffiti, stickers, and decor. Billy grabs his work shirt before he stuffs his backpack into his locker.

“I’ve gotta change real quick, but if you wanna sit at the bar I’ll be there in a sec,” Billy says.

When Steve leaves, he slips his t-shirt over his head and slides on the red button down. In true Billy fashion, he leaves most of the buttons undone--a surefire way to secure endless tips. When he walks into the main area of the club, he finds one of his coworkers Eliza chatting up Steve. Billy slips behind the bar and walks up to them, leaning his forearms against the countertop.

“Billy!” Eliza exclaims. “You brought such a cutie here today. Better keep him away from Brian.”

Billy rolls his eyes. “Better keep him away from you too,” he jokes. He sees Steve bite his lip out of the corner of his eye. “What’d you want to drink then, Steve?”

Steve eyes dart between Billy and Eliza before he admits, “I’m actually only twenty.” The serious look on Steve’s face makes Billy burst out in laughter. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“Sorry Steve,” Billy howls, “but I can’t believe you’d thought I’d care. C’mon, what’s your poison?”

“I’m not sure, why don’t you surprise me?”

There’s a coy glint in Steve’s eye that doesn’t escape Billy’s observation. If boy wants to flirt, then Billy will flirt. Billy sends Steve a smirk before grabbing some gin and pouring it into a shaker, making sure that he flexes his arms as he moves.

Eliza scoffs, “God, this is like watching a lion trying to attract a mate. I’m going to go handle the deliveries.”

Neither Steve nor Billy pay her much attention. He adds simple syrup into the mix and pours into a glass for Steve. Then he stuffs a squeezes a couple of lemons over top and stirs. When he serves it to Steve he adds a bit of flourish into his movements.

“Hope you like gin,” Billy says, and grabs another cup to pour an ounce of gin into. He downs it in one sip before Steve has even drank from his own. “Try it!”

Steve takes a sip and is hit with the overwhelming taste of gin--he sputters. “That’s so strong! Are you trying to kill me?”

“Don’t be such a princess! That’s a classic and I’m offended you don’t like it!” Billy scoffs and crosses his arms. He doesn’t miss how Steve’s gaze tracks his movements.

“Billy Hargrove! You _motherfucker_!”

Billy turns to where he heard his name being shouted. Across the room stands his good friend Nicholas. Nicholas skips over to the bar, waving his arms in the air, causing a general commotion that he always does. He’s wearing bright pink leggings and a black mesh top. Nicholas wraps his arms around Billy’s shoulder and smacks his lips against Billy’s cheek.

With his arm still around Billy, Nicholas’s attention focuses on Steve nursing his drink. “Of course, I don’t mean a _literal_ motherfucker. Billy here is strictly into gents.” Nicholas pants Billy’s chest. Steve is blushing

Billy untangles himself from Nicholas. “Thanks for that… Nicholas.” Nicholas smiles devilishly. “This is Steve. I met him at Reggio earlier.”

“You look like fresh meat. I do love a young gay. It’s so beautiful to show them a life of debauchery and well, just more fun! Are you staying for the show?” Nicholas asks. “Also Billy, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve been here for at least thirty seconds and I _still_ don’t have a cocktail.”

Billy rolls his eyes. “Fuzzy navel coming up.”

“Thanks dear. So, the show. You should stay Steve! It’s going to be great,” Nicholas beams.

“Show?” Steve asks.

Billy unscrews the lid on a bottle of vodka. “Drag show. A few local talents will be performing around eleven. Usually a bit after, they’re divas. Gets a good crowd in here though.”

Nicholas grins mischievously and Billy knows that he’s about stir something up. “Is that why you barely have your shirt on Billy? Or is that purely for Steve’s pleasure?”

Billy turns bright red and Steve chuckles. “Oh fuck off, Nicholas,” Billy grunts, looking over at Steve to make sure he isn’t uncomfortable, but Steve is smiling back. “You should stay for the show. It’ll be a riot.”

Steve nods and grins. “Yeah, I’ll stay. Never been to a drag show before.”

Nicholas gasps, “Never… been … to a drag show? Oh honey, get ready. You ain’t _ever_ experience nothing like tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The action where Billy and Martin were arrested actually happened. March 24 1987, 17 ACT UP members were arrested at Wall Street as they protested the government's sluggishness to approve drugs that could treat AIDS.
> 
> The cafe Billy had his espresso at was the first cafe to get an espresso machine in NYC, it was a long time before the story is set, but I can't imagine an espresso machine being anywhere near Hawkins. There's actually a wild history associated with espresso in NYC.
> 
> Club Pyramid exists! It was sort of the place to go in the 80s, and it played an integral role in the drag and queer scene in the East Village. Lady Bunny and Rupaul both performed there! So did Nirvana and a few others. It had guests like Andy Warhol, and Madonna did an AIDS benefit there too.
> 
> Please let me know if you liked this!


	2. II

Steve twirls the ice cubes in his drink as he sits at the bar and watches everyone at Pyramid Club (mostly Billy) get ready to open the doors. Over the past forty-five minutes he’s met a slew of the employees at the club, most of which seem to get on and adore Billy. He’s glad he came. When he walked up to Billy earlier in the day he didn’t expect for his evening to turn out this way. He’d planned on going back to his dorm room and listening to the radio or watch Rebel Without a Cause for the seventh time since the start of the semester. Steve has made some friends since the start of school, but he always felt disconnected from them. He knew why of course--never felt like he could tell them about his bisexuality. But seeing Billy today on campus, seeing him loud and proud and passionate, it made Steve want to be that way too. And being in this club, watching Nicholas prance around in bright pink and see-through shirts, it made Steve jealous. He’s never felt inauthentic with himself, but he’s never felt fully formed. He looks at Billy and thinks,  _ now that’s a fully formed person; he knows exactly who he is _ .  

Billy is leaning over the counter a few feet away from Steve and wiping it all down. With every slide of his hand over the top, his shirt falls slightly open. Every movement of Billy’s causes the shirt to open and close, open and close and Steve has a front row view of it all. He thinks at any second, this might cause him to drool. When Steve first walked out of his Economics class, he heard people shouting outside and followed the noise. He didn’t see Billy at first, but once he did, Billy was all he could see. He was beautiful, that much is a fact. Sometimes Billy stepped out from under a tree and a ray of light would dance off his hair. Steve had felt like his knees could give out at any moment. He stood there, transfixed as Billy strutted and yelled around the quad. 

And then when he saw Billy sitting in cafe less than an hour later, Steve’s first thought was that it was  _ kismet _ . No one should be that handsome was his second thought. Tonight, he thinks,  _ Billy is so fucking hot.  _ Steve likes watching him work, likes watching him move around and likes how he can see Billy’s lips moving along to the song.

“We’re gonna be opening up the doors in a few minutes so get ready there, pretty boy,” Billy says. He’s stacking cups up behind the bar. 

Steve nods. “Cool cool.”

“I probably won’t be much company… gotta work, y’know, but you should find Nicholas. He’s usually out there socializing and dancing. He’s a hoot.” 

Steve laughs. “A  _ hoot _ ?”

Billy narrows his eyes. “Yeah, a fucking  _ hoot _ . A goddamn  _ fucking hoot _ .”

“Alright, alright,  _ Jesus _ .”

~

Steve is sort of drunk. He’s  _ definitely _ tipsy. But Billy kept giving his drinks so the only option was to continue drinking them. Each one tasted better than the one before. Steve is dancing--not really with anyone, but surrounded by the rest of the club. The music is so loud that he feels the vibration in the floor up through his body, but it gives him the energy to keep moving along. His shirt is pressed against his back, drops of sweat forming in the small of back. It’s just past midnight. Most of the queens have already performed, he thinks there’s one more due on the stage. He’s never seen a drag performance before, or really heard too much about them. A small town like Hawkin’s didn’t have scenes like this. 

Drag queen’s were hilarious, Steve realized. He can’t remember their names anymore, but they put him in  _ stitches. _ And they were so beautiful. One of the queen’s, he remembers, was so gorgeous, so pretty, that he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was on stage wearing this yellow dress and had blue eyeshadow and lots of blush. She did an enthusiastic lip sync to that Cyndi Lauper song. It was fabulous. 

Steve’s spinning on the floor, letting his arms wave around by his waist--it’s sort of a drunken mashed potato dance, when the music is turned down. He halts his movements and glances up at the stage. Standing on the stage is the host, Steve presumes, as he was the one to introduce all the queens earlier. He’s unable to recollect the name of the man, the alcohol having pushed him into a forgetful stupor. 

“How are we all doing tonight?” the guy yells into the microphone energetically. He has bright red and gold colour on his eyes. Steve loves it. When the crowd stops yelling, he finishes, “We have one last queen doing her performance tonight before the DJ takes over. Let’s welcome Fanta Sea to the stage as she tranfixes you all!” 

Steve watches Fanta Sea as she takes the stage. The first thing he notices is her lapis gown, skimming the floor as she struts to the front. She has a white fur stole wrapped around her shoulders and her hair is big and brushed curls. Her skin a shade of ochre looked so nice against the coolness of the dress. 

Fanta Sea was clutching a microphone in her elbow length, gloved hands. She smiles to the crowd and says, “Hello my beautiful lovelies. You all look especially gorgeous tonight!” Someone waves a ten dollar bill in the air and Fanta grabs it. “Wow! I’ve not even started and y’all are already tipping me! Thirsty motherfuckers. Let me do a performance before you be throwing money at me. I better be seeing those dollar bills darlings.” 

The music queues up and Steve doesn’t recognize it at first. Fanta Sea fixes the crowd with a withering stare and mimes the lyrics, “You don’t own me. I’m not just one of your many toys.” She pulls a little toy car out of her dress and tosses it into the crowd and they eat it up, shrieking and yelling and clapping. 

Fanta Sea looks so elegant and poised and sings along to the Lesley Gore song, but she adds camp to it, Steve realizes. “You don’t own me. Don’t say I can’t go out with other boys.” Fanta fans herself at the mention of boys and shimmies her body. People toss money at the stage and she ignores it in favour of performing. Steve wishes he had brought money with him. He wants to be a part of this, wants to give her money. She’s so beautiful. 

By the end of the song, Fanta Sea is on her knees emphatically waving her arms in the air. When she’s finished, she lays down on the stage and gives the audience face, pursing her lips at them. She gets up and dusts off imaginary dirt and reaches for the microphone. 

“Thank you for being so beautiful my audience. That’s all I prepared for tonight, but I’ll be joining you all on the floor once I’ve de-dragged and I have to be honest! I’m a little thirsty. Need to get myself a nice cock...tail. Billy is looking especially fine tonight, isn’t he!” At the mention of Billy’s name, Steve glances back at the bar, and as the crowd erupts into a cacophony of cheers, Billy’s cheeks turn bright red. “Look, he’s so bashful, like he doesn’t know what he’s doing when barely wears a shirt. You know you want this sequin pussy, I’ll see you in a moment, handsome.” And at that, Fanta Sea winks and disappears behind the beaded curtain separating the front of the stage from the back of house. The music starts back up and they’re playing 

Steve loses himself in the moment and doesn’t resurface until he feels a hand shake his shoulder. It’s Nicholas and he says, “Hey buddy, we’re gonna get a drink from Billy before he breaks. Come on.” Steve trots along after Nicholas. He watches in amazement as the crowd parts for him, and attributes it entirely to Nicholas’s ever present presence. 

When they get to the bar, Billy is in an intimate conversation with a very pretty boy. When the boys face turns towards them, Steve recognizes him as Fanta Sea out of drag. She had very distinct lips. Steve thinks that Fanta Sea is very handsome out of drag, and decides it’s unfair that one person can look so gorgeous as a woman and so handsome as a man. He barely manages to get his hair to behave correctly. 

Fanta Sea accepts a drink from Billy and kisses his cheek. Nicholas sweeps into the space next to Fanta and puts his arms around him--her? Steve isn’t sure. Fanta Sea shrieks and stands, pulling Nicholas into a full embrace. 

“Darling! I haven’t seen you in ages,” Fanta beams excitedly. 

Nicholas grins. “You were brilliant tonight, absolutely brilliant. That gown was gorgeous!” 

“Thank you darling. I had Lady help me sew it.” Fanta sips on the drink, and shifts her gaze to Steve, who was standing slightly behind Nicholas, a little intimidated by Fanta. “Who’s this?”

“This is Steve! Billy found him and brought him here,” Nicholas explains.

Fanta grins. “Our Billy the little mother hen. It’s nice to meet you Steve. On stage I’m Fanta Sea but off stage you can call me Remy.” 

“Remy,” Steve replies, “it’s nice to meet you. I really enjoyed your performance.” 

“Ta, darling. I appreciate your kind words.” Remy downs his drink in one last gulp. “Billy are you set to break? I’m starved.”

Billy nods. “Yeah, yeah..” Billy grabs a few bills from the tip jar and meets them around the front of the counter. “Let’s go.”

Steve follows, feels a bit out of place, sort of like a young puppy looking for guidance as he trails behind Billy and his friends. But he’s completely enthralled, watching them interact and exchange jokes. The streets of the city are full of life and full of different characters walking around. Even Nicholas in his bright pink leggings barely stands out. 

A cigarette his thrust in front of his face and Steve grabs it without a second delay. Billy is grinning at him, a thread of smoke escaping out the side of his mouth. Steve is completely captured by the brightness in Billy’s eyes from the moon and streetlights. It’s then he notices that Nicolas and Remy are no longer with them. Steve whips his head around to catch sight of them but he can’t. 

“They’re inside ordering some gyro’s,” Billy explains when he sees Steve’s confusion.

“Gyro’s?”

Billy laughs. “You never heard of gyro?” Steve shakes his head. “It’s like a wrap. Greek wrap.” Billy motions back for the cigarette and Steve obliges. He watches as Billy takes a pull and then as the smoke unfurls from his mouth in thin wisps. 

“Oh, cool,” Steve supplies and the moment it leaves his mouth he realizes how lame it sounded. He winces slightly.

Billy offers him the cigarette. “Very high chance you’ll like it.” 

Steve nods and takes a drag. He feels his heart pick up in pace and he finds trouble pinpoint the cause. It could be the slight breeze slipping into his sleeves. Maybe it’s Billy. His shirt is wildly unbuttoned. His chest so smooth. He feels like he’ll wake up tomorrow and feel like tonight was a fever dream; something he made up to fill this vacancy in his chest. But Billy’s fingers brush his every time they exchange the cigarette and he knows this is anything but a dream. 

~

Steve ends up loving gyro’s. However, the current state of inebriation definitely sways him in their favour. Billy has a little around forty minutes to eat, relax and then get back to bar to start cleaning up and preparing to encourage people to head out. Steve’s not sure how he has lasted so long into the night. Since coming to the city, he’s done some partying but the night ends with people hooking up, and he’s finding it difficult to find girls to connect with. It’s always some boy across the room that catches his affections, but he’s too scared to act upon any of his feelings. Doesn’t always feel safe. 

Billy looks completely awake--no signs of fatigue anywhere on him. Steve doesn’t know how Billy is functioning, he’s been slinging drinks across a counter for hours. But he’s as lively as he was in the beginning of the night, telling them a story from the other night. Steve has zoned out, intent on gazing as subtle as he can at Billy’s mouth. He has such nice  _ lips _ . Sometimes he tugs on the bottom on between his lips causing it to become red and wet. 

Out of nowhere Steve is completely shaken from his trance when an unfamiliar body wraps their arm around Billy’s shoulders and tugs him out of the booth.

“Billy!”

Steve’s gaze follows to the stranger. He notices two things: one, the stranger was extremely tall and two, absolutely handsome. His hair, black and shaved at the sides, was curly at the top. Whoever Billy’s friend was was very stylish, dressed in black denim pants and a leather jacket on top. Steve saw a half-smoked joint tucked behind the fellows ear. Steve eyes drifted from the face of the stranger to his arms, down to where his hand rested on Billy’s lower back. He felt a curdle of jealous stir in his stomach despite having no right to. He just met Billy today. He doesn’t belong to Steve, and maybe he belongs to someone else already. 

Steve turns his attention away from Billy and his friend to where Nicholas and Remy are in a heated discussion. He’s completely aloof as to what they’re discussing. He pretends he’s listening, but he has one eye on Billy. They stand near each other--it looks intimate. Even when Steve hears his name leave Billy’s mouth he still acts like what Remy and Nicholas are talking about have his attention. It isn’t until he feels Billy’s fingers prod where his neck and left shoulder meets. 

He looks at Billy, who’s smiling. His friend behind him. “Steve, this is Nico. He’s at NYU, too.”

Steve slides out of the booth. “Yeah, NYU? Is that where you guys met?” 

Nico barks out a laugh. “I wish it was that dignified. Our encounter was a little more sordid than that.”

“He’s being dramatic. We met in the toilets at a club,” Billy interrupts. “To be fair, it was like a bootleg club.”

“Never forget that guy doing a line off a gloryhole cock,” Nico says, and places his hand over his heart. He shifts. “What are you guys doing tonight? I’m about to head to Martha’s.”

“I work for like two more hours,” Billy answers. 

Nico looks at Steve. “I’ve just been hanging out with Billy,” he replies. 

“Pyramid did a show tonight. He’s never seen one before,” Billy motions toward Steve. 

Nico peaks at that. “Oh, really? How’d you like it?”

Steve nods. “It was really cool, yeah. They were all so beautiful. I loved it.” 

“You have to go to a ball then. Like a show but more extravagant,” Nico says. He runs his hand through his curls, checks his watch. “I’ve got to get to Williamsburg in like fifteen minutes, wish me luck. Nice meeting you Steve.” They shake hands. “Billy, I’ll see you Monday?” Nico’s hand wraps around Billy’s bicep as he leans down for a cheek kiss. 

“See you then,” Billy says. 

Nico is gone in a flurry, out the door of the gyro shop. Billy turns to Steve and grins. “Nico’s right. You have to go a ball.”

“A ball?” Steve asks. 

“Kind of like the show tonight but more...like a competition, I suppose. Kind of like a competition and celebration. They’re not super often, but one might be coming up.”

“Cool, cool.”

Billy looks at the clock on the wall. “I need to get back to work. You coming?”

Steve glances back at Nicholas and Remy, both of whom are sitting very close together. “Yeah, if you don’t mind?” 

Billy nods. “It’s no problem.”

They leave the gyro shop, the breeze from being outside makes Steve shiver. He didn’t bring a coat with him today--didn’t think he would be out this late. 

“Sorry I haven’t been able to pay much attention to you tonight,” Billy says, and he lights a cigarette. 

“It’s no problem,” Steve replies. “I’ve been having fun. Thanks for inviting me along.”

“You’re a cool dude, Steve.” Billy holds out the cigarette. Steve grabs it. Billy yawns. “I’m exhausted. Can’t wait to go home, to be honest.”

Steve laughs. “I hear you. I’ve not really stayed out this late here.”

“Really? The city is the perfect place to be out late. Feels like time doesn’t mean a thing.” 

“Haven’t really found my spot here yet. I thought living in the dorms would be like a social event in itself, but like, I never know who’s who, y’know?”

“Like, gay?” Billy asks, blatantly.

Steve nods. “Yeah. Moving from a small fucking town to here, I thought there’d be more…opportunities. I don’t really wanna hang out with people when I have to like, hide part of myself.”

“I get you. I was in the same boat back home. My old man was a real asshole. I walked around on eggshells constantly. But here, if you look for it, our people are everywhere. Out and proud. It’s liberating.”

Steve sighs. “I’ve never been out and proud before. I used to, like, daydream constantly about kissing some dude on the street where anyone could see.”

“One day,” Billy says.

“Yeah, one day,” Steve agrees. 

~

Steve wakes up the next day in his dorm in the same clothes from the night before. His jeans are unbuttoned but they’re still around his hips. His shirt is tucked up around his armpits. The sun his streaming in through the window--he never put the blinds down. His roommate isn’t in his bed. Steve rolls over and groans. He didn’t go to bed drunk but he feels hungover and dehydrated. It’s Saturday so he doesn’t have anywhere to be all day, but he should work on his Economics coursework. 

Last night, Steve had hung around the Pyramid until Billy was able to leave. They stood outside the doors for a minute before Billy had handed Steve a scrap of paper with his phone number. 

“Call me if we don’t see each other on campus this week. Or I’m almost always in the library, third floor,” Billy had said. “I’m in Brooklyn so get home safe, okay? I’ll see ya soon.”

When they parted, Steve had watched Billy turn the block before he started on his own journey back to campus. Today, he looks at the scrap paper on his nightstand with Billy’s number. He adds it to his address book in case he loses it. 

Steve should probably call his parents--check in with them, they haven’t spoken in a few weeks, but the thought of having to answer all his mothers questions when his head feels like this, feels impossible. Instead, he flops back on his bed and tries to remember all the details from the night before. Tries to picture Fanta Sea’s sparkle from her dress; the brush of Billy’s fingers against his; the feeling of being surrounded by people with the same feelings as himself. 

Thinks about the look Billy gave him when he said “one day”, like “one day” wasn’t completely far-fetched and unrealistic. Like it could happen at any moment. The thought of kissing another guy made Steve’s stomach flip. It’s New York City though, anything could happen. The way Billy talks about, the way Billy lives, Steve’s daydreams sound like they could be made realities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish i could be that bitch that comes back with a 10k long chapter but Im Not! How do these alternating POV's feel to u? Toot it or boot it?
> 
> Please comment!!!! It makes me happy and excited to write more! give me ur thoughts!  
> If there are mistakes im srry lmfao im horrible at catching my own mistakes
> 
> Sorry for being gone for a month but i finished the semester!!!!!
> 
> Also my tumblr: @softloucre send me prompts!


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